The first 2 days were wonderful, honeymoon stage all over again. But then something happened. I still can't fully put it into words but I felt pretty detached from the life I had grown accustomed to here. Things were just gray and "blah". I was going through the motions, a shell playing a role.
With time and putting forth the effort to allow things to simply just be (ironic I know, but I had to intentionally NOT try to "fix" things), and support from fellow PCVS on and off island, the clouds gradually parted.
After a wonderful heart to heart with my parents I entered into 2012 with a spark lit deep inside. Yes I have 16 months whole months remaining, but I am all to aware of how quickly those 16 months will fly by. I spent much of 2011 grounding myself , finding my sense of balance in SVG, traveling inward more than I ever have before . At this point, I am ready to fully extend myself and create the experience to be remembered for a 'lifetime'.
It is becoming crystal clear to me that each and every volunteer has come here to experience this time in their own unique way. Comparison is truly death. The beauty of this position is the flexibility awarded (within the confines of being attached to the U.S. government) to give as much or as little of yourself as you desire, however you choose to do so. You can focus on the negatives, allow the constraints to become your ball and chain or you can just as easily focus on the beauty and abundant potential that exist within many budding spirits who are open to expansion, collaboration and fellowship with others.
"My tears were not for Bailey or Mother or even myself but for the helplessness of mortals who live on the sufferance of life. In order to avoid this bitter end, we would all have to be born again and born with the knowledge of alternatives. Even then?" -Maya Angelou
...each day offers the opportunity to see with fresh eyes.
