letting go

SHE LET GO



Without a thought or a word, she let go.

She let go of the fear.
She let go of the judgments.
She let go of the opinions swarming around her head.
She let go of the committee of indecision within her.
She let go of all the “right” reasons.

Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.
She didn’t ask for advice. She didn’t read a book on how to let go.
She just let go.

She let go of all the memories that held her back.
She let go of all the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.
She let go of all the planning and all the calculation, about how to do it just right.
In the space of letting go, she let it all be.

A smile came over her face.
A light breeze blew through her.
And the sun and  moon shone forever more.

-Ernest Holmes

Life in moments...

I feel I hear this saying quite a bit these days, measure your life in moments, in memories not in minutes or money. I find that is exactly what my life has come. Living in the moments, seeking to leap at every opportunity to create a beautiful memory. As I approach month 15/27 of my PC experience, I find myself short on words. It almost overwhelms me to try and capture the thoughts, feelings, emotions , connections…the moments that have occurred over the past few weeks and put them into written form.

The essence of now : I am good, very good. I continue to give thanks for this life changing opportunity. Yes, some days are not as pleasant as others, I still get homesick and long for a loving embrace or comforting exchange of family and friends, there are times I get annoyed with the inconviences of limited mobility and access to splurges like : the movies, brunch, softball, picnics in the park and road trips but more often than not, my soul feels at peace exactly where I am here and now. And that makes me smile.

Tomorrow I begin Term 3 of the school year. I am looking forward to digging in deep with the 10 students I will continue to work with for supplemental literacy assistance time. Last term I was really focused on the library which resulted in limited time to work with the students. New term, fresh start- lets go.

I am also excited to start working on some secondary projects that are a little more in line with my work experience and educational background. I reached out to the Mental Health Center and Division of Family Services and will be doing some work with them on weekends and over summer break. I love the students but being back in that setting truly affirms my passion and desire to work in the area of emotional well being. Healing comes in many different forms, to be able to connect with others undergoing turbulent times, struggling to stay afloat or just trying to understand the reality they live in and accompany them on the journey to health, wholeness and healing is such a beautiful rewarding encounter.

My parents were able to come and visit. We had a wonderful time. I am so blessed to have such amazing supportive souls here to guide me as we continue to grow together in this thing called life. They enjoyed the island and all the lovely people that welcomed them with open arms.

I spent Easter Weekend up in the mountains with a dear friend. Lots of wholesome cuisine, meditation, writing, laughing, dancing, talking, shedding, releasing and planting seeds to renew our spirits.

These moments...these moments that turn into beautiful memories. blessed.

...dig in

It has been just over a year since arriving to St. Vincent. I must say, today will forever be etched in my heart.  Today we held the Library Opening Ceremony at Cane End Government School. I can not think of a better way to celebrate my 1 year anniversary with my school.  I can not find the words to express how moved I was to see this day come. My counterpart described today as a "historical marking for the literacy program" and my Principal said "Today is one of the best days of my life". Thank you  everyone that helped make this day possible.






Slide Show:

...your energy is where you last left it

I went home in December for about 15 days. I am grateful I was able to go home and spend time with my loved ones. I am truly appreciative for all that I have been blessed with in my life. Returning to SVG was a strange unexpected adjustment. Since I was only gone 15 days it didn't cross my mind that a minor re-adjustment was in order.

The first 2 days were wonderful, honeymoon stage all over again. But then something happened. I still can't fully put it into words but I felt pretty detached from the life I had grown accustomed to here. Things were just gray and "blah". I was going through the motions, a shell playing a role.

With time and putting forth the effort to allow things to simply just be (ironic I know, but I had to intentionally NOT try to "fix" things), and support from fellow PCVS on and off island, the clouds gradually parted.

After a wonderful heart to heart with my parents I entered into 2012 with a spark lit deep inside. Yes I have 16 months whole months remaining, but I am all to aware of how quickly those 16 months will fly by. I spent much of 2011 grounding myself , finding my sense of balance in SVG, traveling inward more than I ever have before . At this point, I am ready to fully extend myself and create the experience to be remembered for a 'lifetime'.

It is becoming crystal clear to me that each and every volunteer has come here to experience this time in their own unique way. Comparison is truly death. The beauty of this position is the flexibility awarded (within the confines of being attached to the U.S. government) to give as much or as little of yourself as you desire, however you choose to do so. You can focus on the negatives, allow the constraints to become your ball and chain or you can just as easily focus on the beauty and abundant potential that exist within many budding spirits who are open to expansion, collaboration and fellowship with others.

"My tears were not for Bailey or Mother or even myself but for the  helplessness of mortals who live on the sufferance of life. In order to avoid this bitter end, we would all have to be born again and born with the knowledge of alternatives. Even then?" -Maya Angelou

...each day offers the opportunity to see with fresh eyes.

WHY JUST ASK THE DONKEY?

Why
Just ask the donkey in me
To speak to the donkey in you,
When I have so many other beautiful animals
And brilliant colored birds inside
That are all longing to say something wonderful
And exciting to your heart?

Let’s open all the locked doors upon our eyes
That keep us from knowing the Intelligence
That begets love
And a more lively and satisfying conversation
With the Friend.

Let’s turn loose our golden falcons
So that they can meet in the sky
Where our spirits belong –
Necking like two
Hot kids.

Let’s hold hands and get drunk near the sun
And sing sweet songs to GodUntil He joins us with a few notes
From His own sublime lute and drum.

If you have a better idea
Of how to pass a lonely night
After your glands may have performed
All their little magic
Then speak up sweethearts, speak up,
For Hafiz and all the world will listen.

Why just bring your donkey to me
Asking for stale hay
And a boring conference with the idiot
In regards to this precious matter –Such a precious matter as love,
When I have so many other diving animals
And brilliant colored birds inside
That are all longing
To so sweetly
Greet
You!
~Hafiz

Books -n- Smiles

Students w/ the newer books

stay tuned for more updates on the books and the library :)

...Vincy Vibe

Today was beautiful! Walking through the streets of Kingstown I felt so vibrant and alive. The sun was beating hot 'pon me skin but boi it sure beats the rain!! I felt like I was in tune with the hum and rhythm of the city. Beautiful faces, beautiful smiles. It was contagious, I couldn't help but notice my face relax a bit as I mirrored the lovely people I encountered along the way. I would describe it as feeling that Vincy Vibe as my friend  Lizzie Davies has so eloquently described it in her poetry.  I kept thinking... I kinda love this place.

Today was a good day. Me nah stress.