30 reflections at 30

30 reflections at 30 … (a work in progress, gentle reminders to self as I continue on my journey)

1.    Be YOU- There is only one you and you are the best representation of yourself. You are the best one to tell your own story. You can’t have a real relationship with a fake person. No one will accept you fully unless you fully accept yourself for who you are right now, here and now.

2.    Do not take things personally, we are ALL dealing with life…someone’s reaction or non reaction to you is their own reaction for their own reasons. Don’t take on everyone else’s “stuff” as your own.

3.    Be in peace wherever you are; take a moment to connect with the space you occupy.

4.    Laugh! Don’t be so serious all the time.

5.    Vegge out when needed, don’t feel bad for lying around doing nothing if your body/mind/spirit is telling you to pump the brakes, LISTEN to your body. REST.

6.   Sundays are special, they are soulful… keep your Sunday’s for spiritual nourishment, no matter if it’s cleaning, hiking, spending time with your loved ones, or fellowshipping with others in a place of worship. Refuel on Sundays so that you may embrace the week fully.

7.   If you love someone, tell them. Period. Tell them as often and as much as you desire.

8.   Be open to trying new things; don’t allow your habits, patterns or perceived abilities/inabilities to limit your experience.

9.   Drink Herbal Tea! It is good for the soul.

10.        Take care of your body, fuel it with goodness and you will exist on a higher vibration. Fuel it with crap, you will feel exactly like what you are putting in- processed, artificial and of little substance.

11.        Live light, release as you live, carry only what you must, what makes  you come alive, what makes your heart sing…let go of clutter, of attachments to material objects that offer a false sense of security and identity.

12.        Be in Balance- Mind, Body, Soul, and Spirit. When you feel “off” do a balance check, which one of these areas is being deprived? Which one is being overwhelmed? Are you nourishing and developing each area so that you grow in equal parts?

13.        Flexibility is essential to being happy. Life is never certain, people change, and plans are altered. Life is not a series of guaranteed outcomes. It is a stream of circumstances in which we make choices resulting in new circumstances in which we are set up to make more choices. “What doesn’t bend breaks”, be flexible. Adjust as you go.

14.        Travel- take time to see the world as well as your city, your state, your country. Explore what exist outside of your current realm of experience. Connect with others that are different from your norm, your comfort. Open yourself to new ways, new ideas…share your heart, mingle your love with others.

15.        Love- strive to have a soft heart, soft power. You can be assertive yet loving. Seek to avoid intentionally hurting others with your words or actions. You can stick up for yourself without purposefully hurting another person. Stay soft around the edges.

16.         Surround yourself with people that you enjoy. People will come and go in your life; even the ones you thought would stay forever. Live in your truth and God will align your path with all that you need. Don’t be afraid to let go of a relationship if it has outgrown its time. You can still love, without being confined to limits. Continue to grow into whom you are and you will be connected with those that enhance your life, not your ability to experience it.

17.         When you feel lonely, try not to instinctively turn outward- you will not find true comfort in another  drink, another smoke,  or another person…go inward, deep deep within, call on the Divine, call on God, your Angels, your Wild Woman, they will hear your call and  comfort you. Don’t be afraid to let them commune with you. Be open, call to them…they will be with you, always.

18.         Be gentle with yourself, you are a HUMAN Being, it is easy to get caught up in personal and spiritual development. Striving to be better, to grow and to change and evolve. Don’t forget to love the person you are today, and all the changing faces you have been along the way that have lead you exactly where you are right now. Forgive yourself, be kind. You deserve your love first and foremost above all.

19.         Each moment we have the opportunity to “be the change” we seek…each encounter, each interaction creates an opportunity to be the change we wish to experience. When you find yourself feeling misunderstood or if someone is feeling misunderstood by you, you must first provide understanding to yourself and your own needs before you can genuinely understand someone else. 

20.         Life is a journey. Like for real for real. I thought I was “grown and sexy” at 25. No, really I did. I thought I had it down and was on my way…to wherever I was supposed to be going. Now, looking back 5 years later, I know a lot more than I did then but there is still so much to learn. It is ongoing, the lessons never end, and that is the fun part. I am a student of life. This is our “earth school”.  Sometimes it will be fun lessons, sometimes hard, sometimes exhilarating, other times mundane.  Stay open.

21.         Dance! Dance and sing whenever you can. Even if you aren’t the best at dancing or can’t carry a tune. Do it anyway! Free up yourself (as my buddy says) and let the spirit flow through you whenever you are moved to do so.

22.         Lay your pride and your Ego aside when someone offers you assistance. My 2^nd year into my Masters program, a professor referred me to the writing lab. The writing lab was pretty much a remedial course to fine tune your writing skills. I was insulted and thought, how did I make it all this way with no other professor commenting on my writing ability? She just doesn’t like me, she doesn’t “get” my writing style…I guess I would of liked her to come and talk to me personally before making a referral , offended and shamed, I declined the referral and told her I was fine. In hindsight, as I pondered the idea of pursuing my doctorate, I came face to face with my weaknesses…one being technical writing skills. That professor was trying to help me, that course would have been exactly what I needed to help strengthen the foundation that was indeed infested with termites. I guess she was the first one who cared about my success (or maybe didn’t care-about hurting my feelings) enough to be honest with me about my abilities. Instead of assuming she didn’t like me, I could of easily looked at is as her wanting to help me succeed in the world of academia.  Never be too good for help or to prideful to admit your weaknesses, in the end it will only make you stronger.

23.         Someone once said, if you see a woman crying…don’t ask what’s wrong or why she is crying, just hug her. I tried this, and it felt so nice. Sometimes words just won’t do. Sometimes actions are all that is needed.  A heart to heart, soul to soul moment of shared existence. I think this can be extended to “a person” not just a woman. Give hugs freely.

24.         When in doubt, be silent. It is so easy to react to others. We want to be heard, we want to prove a point. We want things to go our way. Silence is beautiful and can be as powerful as words. Take time to think, pray, affirm; listen before reacting or even responding. Don’t be afraid to lose a battle because your point wasn’t made.

25.         Speak your truth. This is said a lot these days. But what does it mean? To me, it means stay connected to your core. Be comfortable exercising your sacred no or yes as you see fit. You can be a yes person , yes to life and opportunities however you still have the choice to say no when you feel you are going against your intuition, your heart, your inner guide. If it doesn’t speak to you on that level- your higher self, then what are you really saying “no” to?

26.                         Allow your music to be played. Whatever that may be… Don’t reduce yourself in order to fit in or make others comfortable.  Find your song and let it play, loud and clear. Share it with the rest of  the world; you are the only composer of your song.

27.                       Start each day a new. “It’s a new day a new dawn” as Nina so soulfully sang it. Whenever possible leave yesterday in the past, if it can’t be simply let go, focus on resolution and solving or accepting where you are the following day vs stewing and adding stress to the situation.

28.                       CRY : It CLEANSES

29.                       PRAY - it is POWERFUL (not only for those you know, but for the stranger you passed on the street that looked like they needed a hug or the country that just suffered a natural disaster or for the abused puppies in the shelters that you cannot take home). Pray

30.               Develop a personal relationship with the Divine. Whether you identify with the Source, the Divine, Allah, Buddha, God, The Father, The Mother, Goddess…connect with the life force that allows you to exist.  This personal relationship that I have devoted time and energy into strengthening over the past 6 years has been the main source of guidance the last 2 years of my life while away from other support networks.  Good, bad, high’s lows…this relationship will carry you through it all. I am grateful to have lived a full and lively 3 decades on this earth, during this lifetime. *cheers* to however many more I am blessed to experience.

With love,

Jessica